How smart is your underwear?

So, how are those new underwear that you just purchased fitting you right now? Since you started wearing them, are you getting a tingly feeling in your lower region? Is there a sudden pep in your step, dip in your hip, glide in your stride? Are you feeling a sense of free and wild abandonment, all because of your new underwear?

Or, do you think your losing your mind, because of the newfound exhilaration and excitement that you're experiencing below your waist?

Well fear not! It is not your imagination and you're not going crazy. What's really happening is that you are the proud owner of "SMART UNDERWEAR"! That's right the underwear that you have on are intelligent. This groundbreaking technology was created at the University of California San Diego by Professor Joseph Wang and a team of scientists who specialize in nano technology. Dr. Wang and his team have designed high-tech underwear that may one day save lives.

Now, of course, I was joking in the opening lines of this piece, about your undies giving you a new lease on life, but that perspective is not really far off. You see, the smart underwear that Dr. Wang and his team are responsible for have sensors in the waistband that can monitor a person's blood pressure, heart rate, and other vital signs. It is also anticipated that the underwear will one day have the ability to release drugs into the body that will help relieve pain and treat wounds.

All of this new technology, as wonderful as it seems, is not yet available to the public, but is actively being used by the military. Exactly what the military is using smart underwear for is still a mystery and I would guess top secret. Although the military is actively using the smart underwear, the technological range of applications does and will go far beyond the military.

Dr. Wang is very clear in indicating that one of his visions for smart underwear is rooted in personalized medicine that will move into the area of remote monitoring of the elderly at home, as well as monitoring a wide range of biomedical markers like cardiac markers that will send an alert out for a potential stroke, diabetic changes, and other changes related to a number of other biomedical situations and scenarios.

Wearable smart underwear will also have biosensors, which will be able to provide incredibly valuable information to athletes regarding their physical conditioning, and injuries. Another application of the smart underwear will be to measure blood alcohol levels, without the need for an actual sobriety testing.

Now, if you think that the new technology is only happening in your underwear, don't bet on it. If you're an avid movie goer, but hate it when you're sitting in the theater, intensely watching a movie and then someone's cellphone goes off, fret no more. There is now a cell phone-detecting shirt that is worn by the theater ushers and will detect mobile communications devices that haven't been switched off during the movie. The smart shirt is the brain child of Richard Etter and is part of a new clothing line called, "Aware Fashion."

The shirt looks much like a standard fashionable shirt. However, if a mobile phone gets near the shirt and are on, the shirt will glow unobtrusively at the end of its sleeves, alerting the usher to the fact that there is a cell phone active in the theater.

Don't think that what I just talked about is it in smart wear. There is so much more. What about the question of privacy and whether you will even know that you are buying a piece of smart clothing? Think about that. You could be walking around, right now, wearing smart wear and not even know it. The worst part is that someone, somewhere, could be monitoring your every move, or what's happening in your underwear.

- Andino Ward